Category: Let's talk
okay, the reason i started this topic, is because i don't understand why sighted people do this. why do they feel the need to, whenever they see a blind person on tv, call you into where they are, or come into where you are and change the channel on your tv (eventhough your quite happily watching something else), just so you can see it to, or tell you about the person on the tv. don't they think that if we as blind people wanted to see another blind person on tv, we would just watch the show ourselves? don't they think that being blind is hard enough without it being constantly thrown at us like that? i don't kno about anyone else, but i find it rather anoying when this happens, everytime they see a blind person on tv. not just on tv, but anywhere, where sighted people do this sort of thing. "oh theirs a blind person over their, and they're doing......" one family member does this constantly, and it's really starting to anoy me. it's like she thinks because i'm blind, i need to see other blind people doing something on tv, wich is really no big deal, but obviously to her it is, so she thinks it should be to me. so, what i want to kno is (apart from what i've explained), has anyone else had this happen?
Yes I have, and I finally had to tell my family to stop. Like you said, we are already are blind, and we want to meet other types of people not just blind people. and half of the shows they showed blindness in were just stupid anyways.
i've had that, i just started ignoring those people until they got the message. unless the blind person had done something quite special or challenging, don't bother me about it
Liz, I totally agree. The logic, I think, though is that society seems to think that all people of a given subgroup (blind, deaf, etc.) should know about one another in that particular group. I find it offensive, because frankly, I live it 24/7, and don't really need to hear about other blind people.
Lou
Well first of all, that is irrelivant because you guys get on the zone, rofl!
Secondly, my grandma does that, but I just ignore it. She does it even when it's not a blind person on tv, she will do that when there's news or something, but she doesn't change my channels, she just constantly calls me into the living room to see it, but usually i'm busy so I just ignore it or tell her I'm not interested. But she does that to everyone else, too, so I dont think it's a blind person thing. Now I dont mind seeing another blind person on tv, i actually watched a novela (Spanish sope aupra) with a blind character in it, and I only watched it to compare the attitudes there they showed to that person. Now, this was only tv, so you can imagine how things were off, but it turned out to be quite intertaning, and I continued to watch it till the end. My grandma did not call me to come and watch that, though.
agree with post four
I've had it hapin about a million times it seems like. My family does it. I find it annoying, but sometimes it's neat. They even do it in public places.
lmao Ashley. i actually meant excluding the zone, cause that's obvious, and it's not being forced upon us. it's different if it's something we choose to do, but it's not what i was getting at when i wrote this. post 4, that's pretty much how i feel to. i'm living being blind, having it more or less waved infront of me doesn't help anything. thing is, the sighted people around me, kno that it anoys me when they do it, but still keep doing it. i to have seen movies with blind people in them, and let's face it, sighted people suck as blind people. lmao!
rofl liz, that happens to me a lot as well. but to be honest, i dont really mind it. well, actually, i take that back, i do. but the funny thing is, non of my friends or my family does it, not that frequently anyway. only the teachers of the visually impaired and my other teachers opints this kind of stuff out to me. for example, i guess there's a visually impaired governor in new york or something and he was in the paper, well, the next day when i went to school, people started bombarding me with questions about that person and stuff, and i'm like, wtf? i dont even know that dude, lmao. its like they think just because we're blind, we know everything else about other blind people. also, i hate it when blind kids get opportunities to do something that other blind kids dont get to do and that said blind kids gets tons of publicity and congratulations at how grate they are. i hate that because other people expects you to be as grate or as noticed. so yeah, i ahve to say i understand where liz is coming from. lol
Agree with the last post. assuming we all know eachother, or are related, or are the same person is rediculous. I've had people actually angry because I didn't konow someone else who was blind. Go figure!
Well that's kind of weird, i've never really minded that though.
Omg I hate that! or like lizie says, having someone tell you about the blind people on TV. I actually had someone ask me once, "do you know stevie wonder?" I was like, um... no. not personally. they just acted as if I should have. or, when I am at a church to sing, and people keep asking me if I want to feel there faces. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't feel faces. sorry if that is off topic.
what gets me, is I've had people say to me. you know, my uncle's grandmother's ex husband's ex girlfriend's sister in law's mother is blind. her name is ...*insurt what ever name you like here*. do you know her?
like we're all just 1 happy huge family. And then there's the classic, being right in the middle of a conversation with someone and have them walk away mid sentence. don't get me started on that one, but my original point was that sighted people seem to think we are all, every single last one of us, networked together through some unknown source. cracks me up every time. lol
Cam
yeah, cam they think we are like telopathic. lol.
lol. Whenever i give a performance that's the last thing that I want happening on the day. I greet everyone, I get congratulations, and then someone else makes me feel their face. damn, didn't know people were so ... high with hormones that way (note that I'm just twisting facts here). Though you get a lot of interesting things. You get to meet new people, and you can of course share different opinions. Well, i have had friends from the school I graduated telling me that they ahve relatives that are blind. I do understand though that this is something that's done as an effort to say "hey, weve got someting in common". They never ask me if I know them, but they just comment on it. I do agree though and it'd be interesting to see why this kind of mentality is here in the united States and some other countries. Sometimes it works like races, though not much more (hispanics hanging out with hispanics, ETC).
I hate it when tey show the blind person to you, either on TV or whatever, and they compare you to them. They'll say, "Oh, that guy is so cool, how he can hear where a potted plant is on the table just by using ecolocation. Why don't YOU use ecolocation? Is there something wrng with you?" It's very annoying, degrading and ignorant. I used to just ignore it, now, I don't actually live with sighted peope, which, I must say is pretty nice. My husband and I are both blind and we don't go 'round comparing each other to other blind people. That's just stupid.
agree with the last post. it's like they expect you to be able to do that, just cause your blind, and they expect you to kno other blind people automatically. someone once even asked me the same question as Cat. "do you kno Stevey Wonder", then they started playing his and Ray Charles's music to me. i asked them why they did that, and they said, "because they're blind like you, and you should be listening to them". i was mad as hell, and very nearly broke the record player, but i thought better of it. honestly, if i wanted to listen to them or any other blind singers, i'd do it on my own (not putting them down or anything, i just don't like their style of music), without being forced to. you kno what the funny thing is though? my brother (who would have been blind to, if it wasn't for two eye operations), and i, made up our own version of that song of Stevey's "i just called", and used it to our advantage. i think i still have the words somewhere to. lmao!
lol cat, i know about the feeling faces thing. omg, i! hate! that! so! much! i'm like, ewww no, i dont know whats on your face, lol, you could ahve a skin disease or something lmao. but yeah, its quite annoying. but i'm quite fortunate not a lot of people has done that to me, just a few. lol. and i hate the special blind person treatment too. maybe i'm straying from the topic, but lol, hey, i'm putting it out there.
Minh, i hate the special blind person treatment as well, and i also hate feeling faces. i have an uncle who used to take my hands and put them on his face all the time. even if i was holding something, he'd come up and take it out of my hands and put them on his face. i came so close to smacking him across the face for doing it one day, that my dad had to pull me away. i get so embarrased when someone trys to make me feel their faces, and even more so when they just take things off me and put my hands on their faces. honestly, and this is just my appinion, but i think it's dirty and insulting for people to do that, blind or not. yeah, i've even had a blind person try to feel my face. i only say that, cause you have no idea where their hands have been, or anything like that. also, i hate thoes people who come up to you and say, "do you kno who i am?", when you kno exactly who they are, and also, when they try to put on a different voice just to try and make themselves sound different to who they actually are. i had that happen a lot when i was in high school, so i got to the point where i just ignored them completely.
has anyone ever had this happen to them?
Someone you might have only met once, comes up to you and goes, hey, remember me? God do I fucking hate that.
Or sort of in the same catagory, someone you haven't seen in the longest time will come up to you and go, hey! Can you guess who this is? arg makes me wanna punch their teeth down their throat! That used to happen to me in school more than it does now, but I still feel very degraded and insulted when it does happen.
Cam
yes, to both, countless times. it's anoying!
Yes, and I take great pleasure in telling them no I don't. I guess what I want to say to them is "do you remember everyone you've ever ment only once?" It is so rediculous.
Lou
i had a chap come up to me once and talk to me in a scottish axcewnt. this chap turned out to be a good friend, who is usually as broad suffolk as you can get, but is also an actor, so can immitate acxents perfectly , which is scary as. but yes, i have also been compaired to blind people, some really disreputable blind people too, or some that i'd not want to look up to, just because they are in high office or something. i've also been told about the echolocation thingy, and told how great it was, but looking into it, it's horses for courses. needless to say, i won't be talking to dan kish any time soon.
or, when you are on your computer, or you are listening to your Mp3 player/eye pod, and someone goes, "oh, you can do that? that's amazing!" or they ask mom if I'm gonna be okay, as if I can't hear them. here's a story.
mom was in the hospital for a heart cathorasation, (SP?) and my sister and dad stepped out of the room for a second. well the nurses came in to take mom down to the O.R. and, I was working on my laptop, to keep my mind off of things, and one nurse kept asking mom and the other nurse with her, "is she gonna be okay? is she gonna fall or something?" and I looked up from what I was doing, and said, "yes, I'll be fine. just put the phone where I can find it, and, I'll be fine." it took all I had not to tell her off. I was worried about mom as it was, I didn't need the nurses treating me like that to. yes, I should be more understandible, but I just didn't really feel like being treated like a little kid.
I'm not going to belabor this point, because its been covered elsewhere on the boards. The degree of ignorance in the medical profession is amazing.
Lou
Lmao Liz I've had that happen, about the face thing, but fortunately, not by a lot of people, and I do hate it! I have this uncle that does that, and since he's the only person who does it, I automatically know it's him. Actually, it is funny because he's always done that, and one time when i was younger, he did it in front of my mom and then he told my mom in Spanish what he was doing, as if I didn't understand. Then he asked me if I understood, and I said yes, and that was how he came to know that I speek Spanish! Ever since then we have been close!
As for the asking other people things instead of you, i hate that as well! That really gets to me! I also hate it when people come up to me asking me if I know who they are. I usually ask them: "Do you?" I also hate when people ask "How many fingers am I holing up?" it doesn't offend me, but it just gets really annoying. Also my aunt asked one time what I was eating, when she knew perfectly welll what I was eating, just to see what I would say. That made me angry! How wouldn't I know what I'm eating? My best friend told me next time she does that, to tell her "What you see that's what I'm eating." I also hate it when people buy my Christmas and birthday presents right in front of me, and expect me not to notice. One time my mom did that and I knew what it was, and luckily, they were sweaters and too small, and I threw them away right in front of her! Also people in my family think that it's ok if they dont wrap them, I cant see, anyway! That really offends me, and so now I hate Chrismas and birthday, and prefer to get money, and I dont accept gifts that aren't wrapped.
Also i love that Stevey Wonder song! Lol!
Oh my God. I hate it when people ask me if i remember them.
If people ask me how many fingers I am holding up, i tell them how many do u want to be holding up. That either makes them laugh, or shut up. My wrestling coach asked me where he was, just to see if i knew. I don't mind that so much, but it does get a bit annoying after a while.
I have this relative who likes to get 2 inches from my faceto talk to me. I j wanna hit her. I'll be typing or reading or eating, you know, doing something obvious, and she'll ask me what I'm doing. One time I was listening to headphones, and she snatched 'em from me and told me that what I was listening to didn't glorify God, and she took the tape and threw it out the window. And another time, I was eating Thanksgiving dinner, and I asked whoever was serving my food if they could give me my fruit salad later because I didn't like it mixed with my other food. And she goes, "What do you care if it's mixed together, you can't see it." She's the most obnoxious cousin ever, and I hate her. Her kids are just as bad, and what's worse is she has four of those little Hellians. In reading these last few posts, the one thing that really angered me is the girl who said her family didn't wrap her presents because she can't see them. That's just lazy, ignorant and rude. I would be highly offended if someone did that to me, insulted too.
well, whenever i was asked "how many fingers I am holding up" I would either tell them that "I'd refuse to hold these up for them" or if the person wasn't really nice, i'd just stick the middle finger up in the air and say "I really don't know, but how about me?" The whole following or guessing where people are is kind of obvious. I have had to explain that one really carefully and patiently.
re the glorifying god bit, well who gives a shit? i mean, you can listen to whatever you like? omfg!
Oh lol about the middle finger I should try that! Also that one about the food that is rude! And yeah, my family is ignorant sometimes, I'm actually gonna write another post check it out and you'll see what they can be like!
Martin, I thought the same thing, but wasn't really sure how to put it.
Hmmm, this is a verry good board, have had to deal with a few of the stuff actually a lot similar stuff then swhat is being posted.
I also hate it when people ask me who they are. I've just come back from Turkey, and a few of the lads there thought it was amusing to ask me every time we met what their names were. At first, I just told them I don't like playing this game, but, at the end, I just made up spurious names for them... I have to point out, they were clearly spurious, as you're never gonna find a Turk called Bob or Jack... They found this highly amusing, and it turned into a regular challenge to find an even more mundane name to gift them with. I do believe that Umit, the main culprit, has now adopted Bob as his English name.
I think it's very very easy to get offended and angry about things like this, and, unless you can find a way to turn it into a joke, you risk becoming unnecessarily nasty with people who, for the most part, don't know any better. If someone asks, "How many fingers am I holding up," i'll either ask if they have problems counting themselves, or point out, very sarcastically, that they've forgotten that I in fact, cannot see, therefore cannot see their fingers. It's all done in good fun though. I don't play the "where am I?" game, as it winds me up too much. I just bore them stupid with the echolocation explanation, and then, if they carry on, I either ignore it or, if they're receptive, explain how unnecessary asking is, and how uncomfortable it makes me.
FM
Many years ago, there was a dumb-ass tv series called Longstreet, about a blind detective. The show aired on Tuesday nights here, and I used to dread going into work on Wednesday morning, because all these fools would tell me how Longstreet could do all these incredible things. If the person was someone I cared about at all or really wanted to know, I would point out to them that Longstreet was a fictional character and that the guy playing the role was a sighted person who probably had to turn a light on when he got up to take a pee at night.
When people come up to me and ask if I know who they are, I usually say something like, "No, but I hope you find out soon."
lmfao! nice one! i reasontly had to put up with a family thing, and the uncle who used to grab my hands and put them on his face, has now decided that he'll just grab my hands and lean over me, making me feel even more uncomfortable. i hate it when sighted people just grab me for no real good reason but to anoy, or they think that their tuch is different to everyone elses, and that just cause i'm blind, i'll kno it's them from their hands or what they smell like. my grandpa does it, but at least he doesn't just grab me like some of my relatives do, and, he doesn't do it in public, wich embarrases me even more.
Hmmm, I've got a lot of things to throw in here, so bear with me and prepare for a longish post, with no apology, by the way. LOL!
Firstly, I can't ever recall my family showing me other blind folks on TV who do these awesome things. Furthermore, I admit that when I hear such stories, I'm not inspired. I look at it this way. That person is an individual with their own interests and personality and that goes the same with me. So that person is an accomplished musician or leader or lawyer or athlete. Good for them, but none of that is interesting to me just because I don't want to do such things and I'd rather just not be in the public eye in the first place. Yes I've been on TV several times, once in a documentary and once doing some sort of round-table discussion on blindness, but that's all and my fifteen minutes are hopefully over. And the thing is, I wasn't doing extraordinary things, I was just being me.
When I was younger, I had several people want me to feel their face, and I tried it once or twice but I had no clue what I was supposed to expect. OK, so you have a nose and a mouth and eyes, big deal. What am I supposed to be looking for. And, although I've run into one or two blind folks who did feel faces, but probably just did it with people they saw as friends and not just anybody, I've concluded most blind folks do not do that and think it's socially unacceptable.
As for the holding up fingers thing, these days if anyone was stupid enough to do that, my response would be, "I dunno, how many fingers do you think you're holding up and why the hell are you holding your fingers up in the first place. I just can't take you anywhere!" hahahahahaha!
On occasion I've had people mention how they had some relative or acquaintance that was blind, but there usually wasn't time for me to respond, plus I figured the poor souls were just feeling obligated to act as if they related to me somehow when we were probably never going to see each other again. Sometimes people's need to chatter for chattering's sake puzzles me.
Oh, and as to the bit about blind folks either all knowing each other through some hive mind Borg collective link, or just the idea that I *should* know some other person just for being blind, I can't say I've ever had anyone do that one to me, although when I was young I had a feeling in the back of my mind that I was supposed to pretty much be with other blind and disabled people and anyone that was just unwanted. Yes, I do tend to hang out where other blind folks are, at least on-line, and that is my own choice and my own preference. However, that being said, I do not like all blind people just for being blind. Many blind people are just people I haven't a thing in common with, so I leave them alone. Others might be assholes or into causing drama, and since I don't need that, I leave them alone. Others are very much into their religious faith, and since I'm agnostic, although I don't disrespect the religious, it's going to be hard for me to relate to them, so again, I leave them alone. This is what I do and it's what everyone does. It's like knowing some friend has brown hair, so you start insisting they meet some other person just because the other person has brown hair, even though outside of the hair color they will probably not get along and things might even escalate into a fight
i totally agree with you Godzilla, specially the last bit of your post. we're not all blind so we can automatically like and only be friends with only blind people just because they to are blind. we're individuals, and we like who we like, because they're who they are. people are drawn to people cause of personality, not cause they are something, and so is the person they're drawn to. i mean, i'm 5-6, but that doesn't mean i automatically like everyone who is the same hight as me. it's nice if they are, but it's not, and shouldn't be the reason why i'm friends with someone. we all have certain things that we look for in friends etc, and for sighted people to assume that all blind people automatically like other blind people, is just shallow and closed minded of them. i, like many other blind people, have sighted friends, and not just cause they can see, but cause we like them for who they are, and they like us for who we are as people, not what we are.
Lol to some of the above posts! And I agree Liz, i have a majority blind friends, but it's not because they're blind. Sure, it's easier for me to meet blind people and make friends with them, but again, that's my personal preference, and again, not because they are blind, but because they are my friends as people. I know plenty of blind people, doesn't mean i like them all! in fact, just like anyone else, some of us just know each other, some of us may happen to be friends, but just as likely some of us may not like each other, and some of us just dont care either way! My grandma often says that if she was blind, she'd make blind friends, but she may htink that because I dont have a whole lot of sighted friends, more like aquaintances! But again, that's a matter of preference, and if I did happen to make a sighted friend, i wouldn't close my mind to it! I think i may have steered a little off topic. Anyway, as for the people holding fingers up and all that, I have just learned it is best to try and turn it into a joke, and just have fun with it! People used to pick on me all that time in school, until eventually I started playing along with them, and eventually they got tired because it wasn't annoying me, so they stopped. I actually came to miss it at one point! But yeah, I mean, a lot of times people might just do these things to annoy you, and once they see they aren't doing this, they'll become angry and stop!
lol it's okay Ashley, it's all quite interesting reading anyway, and it all kinda goes together in some weird way as well. i've got more blind friends than sighted, but not out of preference, it's just the way it's worked out. i don't judge people by looks or wat they are, i judge people as people, and how they treat me, (wich is probablly why most of my friends are male as well, and no, it's not thoes sort of friendships either). if i like a person, and they want to be my friend for who i am, not what i am, then that's all good, but, if they don't want to bee my friend, then that's not my problem, and we just don't be friends. same as, if i don't like someone, that's for me to deal with for whatever reason. we're all not here to be liked by every single person on the planet, and it'd be real borring if we were. as for the holding up fingers, i think i've only had that done to me about twice before i said to someone that they looked really stupid for holding their fingers in the air, and my best female friend and i, did it back to them. lmao
I'm the same way. I judge people on their personalities not how they look. I have a mix of sighted and blind friends as well.
exactly. to me, what a person is like and how they treat me, determens if we become friends or not. not how they look, or if their gay, straight, bisexual, male or female, blind, sighted, etc. anyway, i was justout with my parents, and i had some cheese cake, (wich was quite good, mmmm) with my coffee, and my mother said to my dad, "cut it up for her with the fork". omg! i was nearly gonna take it from him and eat it in one whole piece. yeah, it was a big piece, but she made me feel like a little kid right in the middle of the damb coffee shop. i mean fuck! i'm an adult, and she still thinks my food should be cut up for me. anyway, i let my dad do it, cause if i didn't she'd talk so damb loud that it'd just embarras us both. she already made a fuss over the spoon full of cream they put on the plate as well, (wich i just ate in one go), and my mother has such a loud voice that even if she is quiet, people 5 or 6 tables away can here her. i don't kno if anyone else has had something like that happen to them, but it was so embarrasing!
I want my grandma to cut up my pancakes all the time because I am so lazy and dont like doing it and I make a mess. When I am by myself I dont order pancakes.
I myself have not mastered the use of a knife and fork. feel kind of self-conscious when i go out to eat with a friend or whatever, so I jsut avoid foods that require cutting when I'm with them. My mom or dad just automatically cut up my food for me. time for me to start doing that myself, I think.
um, you don't see adult sighted people having their food cut up for them, unless they're mentally incapable of doing it themselves, and last time i checked, being blind isn't a reason to not be able to cut up your own food, is it? who cares if you make a mess, you just clean it up after you finish eating. i mean wich would you rather, sitting their being treated like a little child while someone cuts up your food for you, or doing it yourself and knowing that your independent enough to be able to do it, and save yourself the embarrasment of having someone babying you. i'd rather cut up my own food and make a mess, than have it done for me, but having said that, my mother cleans up the table while i'm eating as well. however, it's not just me she does that to, cause she does it to my dad and if we have them with us, my neaces as well.
Yeah true, that's why it's probably best not to order foods that require that. it's a good thing I love burgers! Lol!
See, here's the thing. I've seen fellow blind people fault other blind people for not having sighted friends, as if it were some sort of major flaw in character or some basic skill their families never had the patience to teach them. I think it's silly more than anything else, because most groups of people don't fault the members for not knowing enough people outside the group. If you are what is considered a minority, most members tend to prefer being with each other. It'd be like faulting a religious person for not knowing enough non-believers, for example.
I just wanted to respond regarding the first post real quick. My mom and sister always let me know if they see someone blind or with another disability on TV, or they quietly let me know if there's such a person around when we are out. I'm guessing they think that I would want to know that there's another person around that they'd probably think I'd have something in common with, or if the person's on TV, that it will probably interest me as much as it does them to know what the show's about (usually being about a disability issue, the condition itself, or something interesting the person's done.) To be honest, I usually don't mind being informed of this because it usually would normally interest me anyway. If I were sighted, I'd probably likely be the type who would observe a disabled person doing something or maybe ask questions about it, just because I'm genuinely curious how that person does things. Maybe that's how some people who think we would be interested in knowing about another blind person think. They see someone who is like someone else they know, and so it interests them because of that and they think that person would be interested in knowing their's another person like them. Just my opinion. *smile* As for just changing the channel, that's just plain rude regardless of the reason for it.
Never happens to me...but I think the logic is simple:
Birds of a feather flock together.
They think we're a bunch of birds!
It’s not irritating to me, but I think it’s just the fact they are relating it. They want us to relate too. Oh, look, relate to him/her, they are blind too!!!!!!
Yeah, my parent’s do it, and they point out what’s wonderful about them, and how I should be like them too.
I can't say anyone's ever done this to me, but I know people like to share stories about blind people who are considered successful, thinking it is some sort of motivation or inspiration. My problem is, most of these people are doing things that, although they might be impressive, are not things I'm really interested in doing. I would like to believe I'm not always one who conforms or follows the herd. Could be right or wrong on that one. But I'm not going to go do something or take an interest in something merely because some other blind person is doing it or because that person is seen as successful. I find the more I live life by my own definition and less by society's definition of who they think I should be, the happier I am, and happiness is more important to me than fame, fortune, or the approval of people who really don't give a damn.
@Godzilla-On-Toast
Well said. I completely agree
freakin lol margorp!
They think we're birds! LOL
It has happened, but not often.
Just to play devil's advocate though, maybe some people do this because it's meant as encouragement. "A can do this & this & this, so that mean's you can do it to!"
You know what I mean? Not saying it's right/wrong. Like I said, just playing devil's advocate for a minute.
I love birds! Lol!